Saturday, October 18, 2008 @ 9:12 AM


hello.. yea. haven been constantly blogging. i use to blog when i have a problem / when i am feeling sad. as i come to the kingdom of God this is becoming rare already. i blog becus i want to update my life most of the time...

well, been doing alot for the KOG, be it in growing myself, growing my people, pushing myself, moving forward.. i`m trying my very best already. sometimes, i really cannot do some stuff, but for God, i held on with it and moved on...

in some period of my walk, i feel the utter bitterness in some issue. but i have no wish to elaborate.. but i believe,God will do his best to deliever me out of thhe problem i faces... as i walk on with God, there's alot more that God tested me in.. prune me in, mould me in... sometimes i even feel like telling God " God, take me away, i dun wish to go on.. " for the process will not be easy.. but you know, i wanna praise God for he is always there for me.. situations will change, circumstances will change. But my God will not change. now and forever...

went for leadership camp, i really learnt alot, i really want to apply alot. to dream bigger for God, to have the heart and desire to win much more for God.. for God didnt give me just 10% of what he can give.. but God gave his 100%.. yet i`m only giving back God less den 10%... great contrast? yupps. i`ve failed. i told God in the camp, "God, i`m not gonna waste my lifetime satisfying my own needs, in my comfort zone, Lord, i know i`ll face much more than this if i want to give it my all. But God, i`m gonna do it Big for you Lord! "

the Lord spoke to me so clearly about what i can do for him and what i can do beyond my limits for him.. to go beyond my own strength for God... he's so amazing... God spoke to me in so much area of my life, that i feel so naked in his eyes.. * not literally naked* but i feel so transparent when i faces him..

oh Lord, i`m trying my very best to do what i can for the task u gave;
Lord, it's not easy..
I need you so so so much right now...
i dunno why, but God, refresh me now..
I just need your presence in my heart all the time..
Lord, i dunno what went wrong, i dunno what's in my heart..
Lord i dunno wad should I do what should I not do...
Sometimes, i`m at such a lost. For God, i dunno how to handle at all..
I feel inadequate to do much for you..
But Lord, I made a covenent with you..
I dunno how to hold on Lord...
It's hurting.. it's painful, it's not easy Lord...
I...
need..
You...
gtg guys.. jiayou.

xoxo

profile

I`m simply a girl with the name of Joanne Tan. I am a child of God, and I simply love God with the bottom of my heart. I`m turning 18 soon in oct-7-2009. I realise alot more when I come to recognise his voice. The voice of truth, courage and love. My life took a turn on the 17th of May 2008.with the addition of joy through my loving CG & unit. That's when i realise that there's so much more to life, than the life that I we have been living. Have you found the life purpose that will last till you die?


I've found mine, what about you?

Goals-

- Grow myself to a CL.
- See people's life transformation.
- To lift Jesus's name on High.
speak out! -