 Wednesday, January 21, 2009 @ 8:25 AM
I`m Sick! currently studying for Test tml! My dearest daddy! Use a brroom and chase away monster nose. use a fan and blow away headache monster. Use a vacuum cleaner and suck away my hot hot head! Thank you! xDD okay, back to studying. God heals amen! xoxo Tuesday, January 20, 2009 @ 4:19 AM
I have a great burden for my family now.. My maid is going back home already. her Dad is having some critical situation recently. Heard from her she didnt wanted to leave, she even want to study in Singapore.. But this have to happen. I feel so lost for her. She cant bear to go back, as she's already part of our family. we didnt bear for her to leave too. My sister cried, my dad also cried. Well, not that we're crazy or what, but she's really a very very nice girl. I have never regarded her as my maid, but as my sister. As my close family one. I see the way my family feels towards her departure, Indeed, a surge of sadness overwhelmed me. I dunno why, but I really cant bear to let her go. Realised how she've been doing many jobs that we do not know how to do if she's leaving. Who's going to bring my sister to school- my sis want my dad to drive her now. ( my dad is already v. tired out) who's going to help my dad makes the food for sale whilst my dad goes for work? who's going to help my dad pay for his bill? who's going to help my dad to run errand? which maid will understand my grandma? who will be able to take care of my dog well. I can bath the dog, but diamond's reliance on my maid is way too close. diamond wont sleep, till she sees my maid. that's how close she's with my maid. haix. She became a christian after she joined our family to work. She also converted her parents through her strong and persistent faith. How great is our God. even moving till this extend. No one can denies the power of God that's working amongst people's heart. Recently I noticed how my Dad is staring into space without reacting to the situation. He would not smile , he would just frown, he would just get worried. I see his haggard and tired face, I realised my Dad aged. I havent been realising, how much my dad have worked and pushed himself to get up and chiong the whole day just for the whole family. I really want to do my part. but, no matter how much I do, my dad just wont stop working for a single day. he's not even smiling now. I know there's a problem in him. I know he have a heart issue, heart knot that he wont want to reveal. Right now, seeing him crying becus of my maid's departure, it greatly affected him much more. Without my families realisation, my auntie-my maid, have slowly been doing half of what my dad suppose to do. She's been a great helper of my dad, be it in my dad's business, or in our house, she'll really take care of it. she always do her best, and never allow her emotions to affect her in any way. My dad, is been hit with this fact. no matter how much my dad wanna stay her, my maid wouldnt, her family is quite in a drait state. it made me realise how much i wanna help in this family. i feel so so so burdened, i know my dad is freddiing over money issue, family issue and all issues. but yet, i do not know how to help him other than to do my part. I want to do beyond my part, but I dont know how. I want to see joy in my family, i want to see happiness in my family, but so many issues are coming up, it seems so impossible to have events to get together. chinese new year is coming, but yet, this first day of lunar new year, my mum wants to do business, this means my dad , my mum wont be able to spend the new year with me. Yes, money is important, but to me, I believe God will bless. my dad do not want to start the business, but my mum insisted. What can we say and what can we do. Looking at my grandma, she's aged 88 now, she've reduced the no. of times she go to the market from 3-2-1 now.. she's not as strong as before. she's not as energetic as before. she's weaker, she's tired, she's old already. Seeing at these situation, i really feel lost, feel i dunno where to start from.. Father, I desperately pray for protection over my family, over every single situation that might be happening. Take control, let your power reign. I want to pray that my maid's dad will recover upon your healing powers so that she'll be able to pursue her interest, her love in studying. I would want to pray for my dad lord, Lord, let my dad realise, money is not all that matter, yes, we need them, we cannot live without it, but you've said, even those birds in the sky are fed by You, are we not as important as they? God, I know you're looking, I know you're in control. I want to pray for Joy in my family Lord... my mum is not a christian, I pray for her conversion Lord.. my dad have left you for a long time, and is lost in the world now, Lord, pick him up, bring him back into your embrance Lord! I pray for my grandma that God you'll strengthen her as she goes and to complete much more of your work in her whole lifetime Lord. she's a faithful servant of yours, she've done her very part to see her whole family, her sons, daughters, grandchildrens being baptized in the name of Jesus christ Lord. Your power and your awesomeness have been witness in her whole life. Continue to help her and strengthen her Lord, let her health be a great testimony to the world Lord! I pray for my brother's and sister's salvation too Lord, they've lost their way in christ once again, Lord, select them, choose them. For God, I believe you'll continue to search for them and seek for them till they come back to you Lord. I will do my part, and let your will be done. God I pray for all, take charge and use me Lord. Amen. xoxo Wednesday, January 14, 2009 @ 8:08 AM
One year ago, on 14th of January, was the day that i set free, was also the day that i dont understand till today. It's sort of a time where i was really down, really upset, really broke down completely. Till today, i dont understand. what was the mistake that created so much misunderstanding between the both of us. But I saw how i changed, when i Let you Go, when i let my Heart be set free. yes, it hurts, but what could i do at that point of time? What else could i saw? I thank God for a renewed life. I thank God for a refreshed life. I thank God for all that he've installed in my life. Without God i think i am stil in the lost world trying to reach to him.. which would lead me to nowhere. I Thank God for picking me up once again. How God changed my life amazed me to the max.. From a girl who cannot stop hurling vulgarities to someone who stopped her vulgarities. From a girl who hated her family to someone who is adoring her family. From a girl who yearn for every single possessions to someone who shed off her belongings. From a girl who's alway wants others to please her to be someone who is pleasing God. From a girl who do not know where i am going to someone who is rest assured in God's plans. God can change life, he can also transform life! amen! I believe deep down in our hearts sometimes we feel pek chek if we keep talking to someone and that person avoids u for a year and is still persistent in ignoring you, you'll definitely feel upset. for that person maybe someone whom you really want to speak to at some point of time. I've been experiencing this.. and i realise something diff. when i came to know God.. no matter how many times i failed God, God will not say, " i am angry, i will ignore you.." God stil listened! be it as a sinner, as a child of God, as someone who feels ashamed to face God, he still listened! i think it'll be tough for me to listen to someone who made me angry and upset. But God doesnt just listen, but he provides a way out, he provides for us! Thank God yeaaa?! I thank God for my changed life : To be a transformed life that can transform lives. xoxo Sunday, January 11, 2009 @ 8:41 AM
WAAi think my blog is lacking of colours.. PHOTOS! let's see what i have. okay. recently went K-ing with these(fromleft)babe, pretty girl, model-like figure, chio bu, gorgeous... whatever u can use to describe these few fabulous girls in my life! Thank God for the willingnest this people have to work for God, to bring Hope & Light to the lost! although the process might not be easy, it's tough, i dun deny that, but till the end, we're not working for anything in return, we're working because, we Love our Father! i`m sure many are working for our heavenly Father! let's not give up and run towards the eternal prize! the Gift of Salvation!! woohooo~
Thank you girls! let's continue to run and run and run much moree! till the extend like we're running for sosuke - in ponyo, such that ponyo run and run and wont stop till she reaches sosuke! so we must run and run & wont stop till we reach eternal life! =) see how much i've changed. my life changed, from yea you can see, to someone who doesnt need to bother about how people will look at her. =) awesome man! i applaud God!
tada~ aniwae i seem outdated, but i watched ponyo today, it's v. nice lor. i went round singing ponyo song to people. it doesnt bring a lil happiness to people! do watch it people. i rate it a 10/5 stars! that explains how nice it is. maybe for me .. well, perceptions! but to me, it's really a very very very nice showw~! PONYOO~ ponyo ponyo ponyo sakana no ko okay. go do stuff le. bye! xoxo Friday, January 9, 2009 @ 6:50 AM
you are my strength when i am weak, you are the treasure that i seek. you are my all in all... seeking you as a precious jewel Lord to give up i'll be a fool you are my all in all.... Jesus, Lamb of God Worthy is your name.. Jesus, Lamb of God Worthy is your name.. Taking my sin my cross my shame rising again i bless your name you are my all in all.. When i fall down you pick me up when i am down you fill my cup You are my all in all... Jesus, Lamb of God Worthy is your name.. Jesus, Lamb of God Worthy is your name.. yes Lord, you are my all in all. I heard you Lord, i heard your strong and mightly voice. Lord, here I am, at your disposal Daddy... use me Dad.. I love you Daddy. xoxo Thursday, January 8, 2009 @ 4:36 AM
hey yo! haha. been quite some times since i last posted. saw a few blog that makes me feel inspired and i want to post.. hoho. my new year resolution, i think it's abit late / redundant to post now. haha. but oh well, shall keep myself reminded. In this new year I would want to achieve the following resolution: 1. To lead a healthy lifestyle! - doing sports once a week. 2. To grow closer w God. 3. To get better GPA. 4. Continue learning HipHop. 5. Save enough money to pay for believer's music lessons and camps etc. 6. Family salvation. 7. To strain towards what is ahead, not to look back all the time. 8. To polish up my singing so as to minister better. 9. To be a CL by this year - for i want to further advance the kingdom. 10. To go to where my Father calls me to! I think recently i found out something that i have never been able to let go. I've refreshed myself to go even further to advance the kingdom! i always have a wrong idea towards my calling, towards my view of this pastorial thing. as i pour out to God, God poured out to me too. In the past, i thought things are all stagnant and rigid. it's systematic in terms of growing and doing more for God.. then i realise it doesnt even matter about what are the rules set / what are the format like, but it's where God can lead me to , it's where I can go for God.. the bottom line for all - my identity in chirst , i`m a child of God. that's all. I`m not invincible, i`m not a wondergirl, i`m not any super person. I`m a child of God. my capability, my ability is not due to my past experience, my special magics or wadever. but my capability and ability comes from God.. i am not who i am without his moulding. i am not gonna succeed without his plans. i am not going to be here today without his promises. how great is our God, how great is my God! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Promises, what are promises? Thousands, hundreds of promises have been made to me and have been made by me but none of them really last. this song just came to my mind and i feel so amazed once again ... " A thousand times i failed, still your mercy remains, should i stumble again, i`m caught in your grace...everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades.. never ending your glory goes beyond all fame...." How have i been walking in christ? Have i been walking in the light? have i been walking blindly? have i been walking sideways? promises. so close to our hearts, but yet not tied in my heart. Times have gone, there might be hurts, misunderstandings, upsets and anger. But all this fails to compare to God's grace & God's love. Have we learnt to really love like how God can love us? Have we really learn to forgive like God can forgive us? how much have we been walking with christ? I believe humans we all sinned, and when sins come in, we'll do wrong things and stuff. yes, it's bad, it's ugly, it's unforgivable but God ERASED it all. why? why was he so kind? why is God able to tolerate? why is God able to wash it away? - Because God really love us to the max. Can you tolerate someone badmouthing about you? can you tolerate someone taking away your toys? can you tolerate people judging you and criticising you? Do you know God Love all people even those who badmouth about him. God love all of us even thought we have took his blessings. God loves us all even thought we have criticized him before. We = tolerate. God = Love. Compare tolerate & love. I believe tolerate is to keep within yourself certain emotions certain actions and just siliently bear it yourself. Love is to forgive and wash away all the emotions and actions and exchange it with care and concern. who are we to judge, who are we to complain, who are we to grumble, who are we to gossip, who are we to get upset when God have not done that to us. God never complain that it is difficult to take care of us. God never treated us differently becus i`m shorter /fatter/ more dumb... all in all, i really would wish to say, my actions may have failed some, other's actions might have failed me. But why not shed it all off, but look at how God have accepted it all. why are we running this race? is it because it's fun? the community is great, or because of God... this is the basic/ the fundamental, but strangely, when we're running this race, we tend to not keep this reason with us. God, i have failed you times and times again. I really thank you for not leaving, not forsaking me, for your love . hurt but God, you've heal the broken hearted. God, where would i be without you... where would i be.... Many times i feel so lost, but u never fail to shine ur light. Many times i feel like giving up, but u never fail to pick me up.. many times i feel like letting go, but u never fail to grab onto me tightly never letting me go. God i've failed you so many times, forgive me Father. stir in the hearts of the lost, mend the broken hearted, bring the scattered sheeps back again, envision the shepherds, shine ur light in the churches, let your power be upon those who are not abled. Father i know you know exactly how i am feeling now, I want to let you know, I'm giving it all to you Daddy. I know nothing is too impossible for you. I may not know what's wrong, I may not know what to do, I may be hurt, I may be down, but God, when i look into your heart, you've shown me even greater things that these pebbles in my life. Thank you daddy. Continue to work through, continue to pour down Father! I'm living for this cause. My identity: I'm a child of God.. My purpose in this race : Because you First love me, Because you've pursue me so hard, i want to pursue you back, i want to pursue the lost back for you Father!! Brothers & Sisters, let's not give up, let's not give in to tiredness, let's not give in to temptations, let's not give in to our comfort, let's not give in to situations & circumstances - but let's allow God's power to reign! let's allow God's named to be lifted up high! Let's be the ones who will shine for JESUS! GOGOGO! refresh and go, refresh & go.... jiayou & God, thank you for the deposition of your love & grace into my heart. I love you daddy. xoxo Monday, January 5, 2009 @ 12:10 AM
okay. suppose to have a break for 10 mins. it ended up almost 30 mins i think. hahhs. shall take this time to blog then! lazy to blog in chinese, it's gonna be slowwww... hoho. Saturday was great. Was on stage on that ESS service. Wow, I understand what it is to prepare my heart and let God minister. i may sound stupid but this is what i did. went on train on my way to Nexus @ sommerset. i closed my eyes, plug in earpiece, sang worship to God, softly lurh. hmmms. well, allowed myself to take time off and just worship and praise God, and prepare for my songs to be pract. I AM amazed by God - notice AM = present tense, still amazed by God! =) during music prac, practiced and was feeling uptight, have to learn harmonising, tenor & alto all at the same time so as to make the music nicer, all quite new singers. as in female singers, me and lestari, both new singers. well, we learnt as we go, and Thank God, we picked it up quite fast! on saturday itself, wow, i remember the first time on stage, i was feeling nervous and nervous and nervous. and i didnt allow H.S to work within me. well, this time,i really managed to let Go and Let God! =) and just gave it all freely to God. wow. it's amazing. singing on stage to 400 people. hmmmms. scary, but with God, why not! i love this ministry and i love all the sister and brother in christ as well! i really love my CG! Love joanne(hahhhs) geck, xman, dory, shu hui-(hubby) LOL , shirls,peiqi, weiru, jesley, alexia,yen see, pei jun! heeehs. okay, what i want to let people know thru this post is, with God, all is possible, faith is not overnight, it's when u let God be the one in control of ur life! AMEN?!! XD bye, next post up will be countdown and CG! xD xoxo Sunday, January 4, 2009 @ 10:45 PM
recently alot have been happening, i will update tonight, but now, i wannt to blog to thank specially thank someone! LIM LI JIA. okay, if any of you know, she's my sister in christ and yes, she's featured in TP design school website for her attachment to MTVasia! hahhs. well, she's really a salt and light for christ. i want to thank this sister of mine for willingly helping me in my dreamweaver proj. seriously, i missed out lesson and didnt understand any shit, this week, even shitter, i dont even understand a thing! but thank God, i have this sister who will be coaching me tommorrow! it's gonna be extra lessons for joanne! =) well, not that i want to spend the time, but i do not want to be looked down at and i want to do my best for God, not sloppy work which reflects my irresponsiblity, but i want to do it to my best. Her website is darn cool, and i am gonna learn and learn tml! asking xman and ah bee too. Thank God i am in this community that God place helps in times of need! i really need help badly, if i werent in this community, i think i`ll be still lost till the day i submit, i`ll have to cry. T.T THANK GOD!. i though this post gonna be short, but it's longggg. Sisters who agree that God will help us and deliver us from different situations at his timing says AMEN! xD (tagg!) hahhs. okay. gotta go and understand moree~ bye. xoxo |
profile I`m simply a girl with the name of Joanne Tan. I am a child of God, and I simply love God with the bottom of my heart. I`m turning 18 soon in oct-7-2009. I realise alot more when I come to recognise his voice. The voice of truth, courage and love. My life took a turn on the 17th of May 2008.with the addition of joy through my loving CG & unit. That's when i realise that there's so much more to life, than the life that I've found mine, what about you? Goals- - Grow myself to a CL. - See people's life transformation. - To lift Jesus's name on High. speak out! - way back - November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 Precious ones- amanda cassandra Daamanda Edwyna geckting Hui Fang jenny Marinne mei yi Naemah pei qi shirley Wei ru Wen Hui credits skin by: Jane |
