Saturday, December 27, 2008 @ 11:19 AM

back from ESS service @ nexus auditorium.

Just read Kaili's blog and i feel so much towards it, i mean, thoughts did ran through my mind.

Not gonna talk about spiritual things and stuff, for today, it's just gonna be how i used to have blog. been so long since i look deep down into my heart and blog with my clearest state of mind.

Love-
what it is? Love, what have it been like?
For those who know me, i`ve been thru a r/s that lasted for 2&half years. It's a long journey yes. But inbetween, felt that there's so much for me to think about.

When was the time that i gave my hands to be held tightly to? When was the time when i gave my first kiss to? when was the time that i hugged onto someone so tightly just because i missed him? How have it been like to go through Ups&Downs with the other party. How was it like to give your all to the other party?

All these aint that clear in my conscience mind, all in my sub-conscience mind. all felt so long ago, but still it's there. Some people ask me: " hey joanne, are u sure you are single? " To some, it's a lil funny to know i`m unattached. looking back at my life, i was never single for more that 3 months. To people, i may be not myself if i`m single. cus hey, joanne is always attached with someone, why not now?

I've changed. I dont see any value in man R/S anymore. Not that there's no value, but just feel that at this age, what's the point of having a r/s when i`m only 17? i mean, attached, then? married? it aint proper too. What i`m driving at is simple. A r/s now wont get me anywhere. yes, it's romantic, yes it's comforting when you're upset your boy is there for you. yes, it is not boring for you have someone as companion. who says parents cannot comfort you? who says parents cannot company you? well right now i dont proclaim loudly that i am setting a good example for what i stated above, but i do wish to say, i see no point in r/s at such an age.

Yes, hurting to some, but i seriously want to say, i do not see anythinng in r/s anymore. Things happen again and again - fear? maybe. but mainly, i have much more to focus on, and i've found the one to love, the reason to love.

The reason in God. The love With God. It's incredible. only when you've a r/s with God, you'll understand why. really. Man fail you times and again, but my God never fails me. that's what i have went through, and i hold onto this strongly!

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shall end that topic there. i bet there's many people who silently reads my blog and wish to understand more about my life etc. I really want to say, i love my life w God, not because he's powerful, but because he love me no matter who i am, no matter what i've done before.

Have you ever felt outcasted because u done something wrong? have you ever felt wronged and feel that you've no one to sought no one to seek? have you ever felt so lost that you wish to just die and end it all off? have you ever felt yourself being v. emotional and wish to just cry because you dont even know what's wrong? I have gone thru all these before, in fact, i am still facing it. But i have someone to seek comfort in, i have someone that can bring me joy in times of trouble. i have someone who can be mightier than all the problems that seems too big for me to handle. God is that someone and God does it all.

Seriously, i aint boasting, i aint telling and blogging just because i'm obligated to, i am blogging because i feel that i've indeed learnt much more and indeed experience that very unique love. Really hope that readers out there will think about it. who's there for you ALL THE TIME in times of need and trouble? Think about the questions above. are they all left unanswered?

I've never felt so peaceful and joyful before i came to know christ. I feel so different now.

Shall blog about what's coming up next in line for me!



WELCOME PEI JUN INTO THIS BIG BIG FAMILY IN CHRIST! LOVE YA! =))

with loves,
joanne. =))

xoxo