Thursday, January 8, 2009 @ 4:36 AM

hey yo! haha. been quite some times since i last posted. saw a few blog that makes me feel inspired and i want to post.. hoho.

my new year resolution, i think it's abit late / redundant to post now. haha. but oh well, shall keep myself reminded.

In this new year I would want to achieve the following resolution:
1. To lead a healthy lifestyle! - doing sports once a week.
2. To grow closer w God.
3. To get better GPA.
4. Continue learning HipHop.
5. Save enough money to pay for believer's music lessons and camps etc.
6. Family salvation.
7. To strain towards what is ahead, not to look back all the time.
8. To polish up my singing so as to minister better.
9. To be a CL by this year - for i want to further advance the kingdom.
10. To go to where my Father calls me to!

I think recently i found out something that i have never been able to let go. I've refreshed myself to go even further to advance the kingdom! i always have a wrong idea towards my calling, towards my view of this pastorial thing. as i pour out to God, God poured out to me too.

In the past, i thought things are all stagnant and rigid. it's systematic in terms of growing and doing more for God.. then i realise it doesnt even matter about what are the rules set / what are the format like, but it's where God can lead me to , it's where I can go for God.. the bottom line for all - my identity in chirst , i`m a child of God. that's all. I`m not invincible, i`m not a wondergirl, i`m not any super person. I`m a child of God. my capability, my ability is not due to my past experience, my special magics or wadever. but my capability and ability comes from God.. i am not who i am without his moulding. i am not gonna succeed without his plans. i am not going to be here today without his promises.

how great is our God, how great is my God!

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Promises, what are promises? Thousands, hundreds of promises have been made to me and have been made by me but none of them really last.

this song just came to my mind and i feel so amazed once again ...
" A thousand times i failed, still your mercy remains, should i stumble again, i`m caught in your grace...everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades.. never ending your glory goes beyond all fame...."
How have i been walking in christ? Have i been walking in the light? have i been walking blindly? have i been walking sideways?

promises. so close to our hearts, but yet not tied in my heart. Times have gone, there might be hurts, misunderstandings, upsets and anger. But all this fails to compare to God's grace & God's love. Have we learnt to really love like how God can love us? Have we really learn to forgive like God can forgive us? how much have we been walking with christ?

I believe humans we all sinned, and when sins come in, we'll do wrong things and stuff. yes, it's bad, it's ugly, it's unforgivable but God ERASED it all. why? why was he so kind? why is God able to tolerate? why is God able to wash it away? - Because God really love us to the max.

Can you tolerate someone badmouthing about you? can you tolerate someone taking away your toys? can you tolerate people judging you and criticising you?

Do you know God Love all people even those who badmouth about him. God love all of us even thought we have took his blessings. God loves us all even thought we have criticized him before.

We = tolerate.
God = Love.

Compare tolerate & love. I believe tolerate is to keep within yourself certain emotions certain actions and just siliently bear it yourself. Love is to forgive and wash away all the emotions and actions and exchange it with care and concern.

who are we to judge, who are we to complain, who are we to grumble, who are we to gossip, who are we to get upset when God have not done that to us. God never complain that it is difficult to take care of us. God never treated us differently becus i`m shorter /fatter/ more dumb...



all in all, i really would wish to say, my actions may have failed some, other's actions might have failed me. But why not shed it all off, but look at how God have accepted it all. why are we running this race? is it because it's fun? the community is great, or because of God... this is the basic/ the fundamental, but strangely, when we're running this race, we tend to not keep this reason with us.

God, i have failed you times and times again. I really thank you for not leaving, not forsaking me, for your love . hurt but God, you've heal the broken hearted. God, where would i be without you... where would i be....

Many times i feel so lost, but u never fail to shine ur light. Many times i feel like giving up, but u never fail to pick me up.. many times i feel like letting go, but u never fail to grab onto me tightly never letting me go. God i've failed you so many times, forgive me Father.

stir in the hearts of the lost, mend the broken hearted, bring the scattered sheeps back again, envision the shepherds, shine ur light in the churches, let your power be upon those who are not abled.

Father i know you know exactly how i am feeling now, I want to let you know, I'm giving it all to you Daddy. I know nothing is too impossible for you. I may not know what's wrong, I may not know what to do, I may be hurt, I may be down, but God, when i look into your heart, you've shown me even greater things that these pebbles in my life. Thank you daddy.

Continue to work through, continue to pour down Father!

I'm living for this cause.

My identity: I'm a child of God..
My purpose in this race : Because you First love me, Because you've pursue me so hard, i want to pursue you back, i want to pursue the lost back for you Father!!

Brothers & Sisters, let's not give up, let's not give in to tiredness, let's not give in to temptations, let's not give in to our comfort, let's not give in to situations & circumstances - but let's allow God's power to reign! let's allow God's named to be lifted up high! Let's be the ones who will shine for JESUS!

GOGOGO! refresh and go, refresh & go....

jiayou & God, thank you for the deposition of your love & grace into my heart.

I love you daddy.

xoxo